Friday, April 3, 2015

Anticipation

My best friend/neighbor has a dog named Nellie.  Over the past few months I've attended Nellie's birthday party, walked through the Farmer's Market with her on Saturday mornings, spent countless hours snuggling on the couch with her, and even invited her to sleepover when her mom was away.

This is Nellie!
This morning, I saw Nellie across the street and when she noticed me her entire body reacted.  Tail wagging ferociously, she tried to bound into the street without care for the cars zipping by just to great me.  When she finally made it over, we spent about 2 minutes saying hello.  Watching the progression from walking, seeing me, anticipating our reunion, and experiencing it was a lesson in the beauty of raw and unbridled emotional expression.  Dogs just do what they want.


I started feeling a bit like Nellie later in the day.  My heart was pounding and my body temperature was rising.  As a thin layer of sweat coated my hands an enormous smile appeared on my face.  I was standing in the check-in line at JFK.  This usually doesn't conjure up feelings of excitement and joy for most people, but standing in line surrounded by people speaking Spanish and knowing I was en route to Buenos Aires to a) be reunited with my roommates, b) eat a lot of steak, c) drink copious amounts of mate, Fernet, Campari, and Dos Toros Pomelo soda, and d) celebrate an amazing couple and their relentless love for each other, brought a degree of anticipation, excitement, and joy that was quite overwhelming.  I wanted to laugh and scream and cry and jump up and down.

I'm headed to Argentina, a place where 14 months ago I underwent a profound life evaluation and discovered a lot of what it means to be me.  Argentina re-inspired this blog and fostered my relationship with my (future) brother-in-law and gave me a place to be spontaneous -- like that time when six hours before I was supposed to leave for the airport I extended my trip by three days.
 

In many ways I'm in the same place as I was 14 months ago, and yet life is entirely different.  I love the feeling of returning to a familiar place with the memories of what it and what I was, and the anticipation of what this instance will bring.

Bife de Chorizo
With anticipation can come expectation and with (high) expectations can come disappointment.  The great thing about expectations and disappointment in Argentina is that it doesn't happen!  Plans change, life is fluid, and for me, expectations fluctuate as quickly as they are formed.  I will be upset if I don't eat steak and dance until 7am at a boliche, but that is the equivalent of saying I will be upset if I don't breath.  Life in Argentina is defined by steak and dancing.

Best ice cream on the planet.
So I go.

With little to lose and a lot to gain and feeling completely overloaded with feelings.

Que buena onda.

And Shabbat Shalom.  Happy Passover. Chag Sameach. Feliz dia de La Pascua.